Last night, after having spent literally $1000 on new hockey gear for a kid, he had an epic meltdown that had me using words I don't usually use. But it was then that I saw in him little ole me. UG! It sickens me to think that at times I threw those unnecessary fits for my parents and there was no good reason for them. Each item he took from his bag he had a reason and story behind why he'd needed it. The other boys, who left with minimal items seemed fine. But it was as if he realized what we'd done for him and perhaps there was guilt from greed. But the gentle age of Teenager, we don't understand how to say thank you or I'm sorry. We just know that for a moment in it all we felt completely right in our thinking, even if that has since changed.
These are those moments I'm compelled to call my parents and say, "I'm sorry." I wasn't a trouble maker, I didn't break curfew or sneak out of the house. I didn't drink. I didn't party. I didn't even fail. But because I couldn't find it inside myself to accept blame or admit I was ever wrong, these tantrums emerged (sadly into adulthood).
So I watched my son throw his new items into a different bag, talk under his breath, and attempt to lock himself in his room. I took some deep breaths and I knew what was going on in his head, because as I've said, I too had more than one of those meltdowns.
Things I know for a fact. Next week when he puts on that gear, he will say thank you. When the moment has passed, and the world is back in order and school has started, he will apologize for that melt down. As adults the world spins around us at a maddening pace, and we assume our moods are justified by it. We can say, "I went to work, I drove in traffic, I paid that horrible bill," and think that our mood is justified. What we forget is that for a teenager, it's spinning at a maddening pace too. How could we possibly have forgotten? They're taking on a lot now too. With school less than a week away, there is stress and nerves going on inside of those kids. Many teenagers are starting new schools too. What a scary time. And again...oh how easily we forget.
Once in a while it's good to remember, even if you have to call your parents and apologize for your behavior 30 years ago. They'll still appreciate it.
Do you remember any of your epic teenage meltdowns? Were they worth it?
~Bernadette Marie ~